On Respectfully Paying Homage to Eros

I'm addicted to Pandora. Honest to goodness, there is nothing like putting a band whose sound you need in the moment and getting more of that sound from artists you didn't know. Funny enough, my most used station is starting to incorporate some very different sounds from what I originally wanted. From Scissor Sisters I somehow got to Fleetwood Mac and then back around to this particular song I want to talk about today. It's by a fellow named David Guetta and is entitled 'Sexy Bitch'. I've only posted half the lyrics since the song repeats itself.

Yes, I can see her
'cause every girl in here wanna be her
Oh! She's a Diva...
I feel the same,
And I wanna meet her
They say: "She low down..."
It's just a rumour I don't believe 'em!
They say: "She needs to slow down..."
The *baddest* thing around town!
She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before!
Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore!
I'm tryinna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful!!!
The way, that booty movin' - I can't take no more
Have to stop what I'm doin', so I can pull up her close
I'm tryinna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
Damn Girl!!!
Damn, you's a sexy bitch, sexy bitch!
Damn, you's a sexy bitch!
Damn Girl!!!
Damn, you's a sexy bitch, sexy bitch!
Damn, you's a sexy bitch!
Damn Girl!!!

I want to draw attention to the part where he begins singing her praises. Or rather, he sings about being unable to find terms appropriate for (I assume) the radio without being disrespectful. Well, Mr. Guetta, damning her and then calling her a bitch (repeatedly) is hardly the best way to compliment the purported girl of your dreams. Oh, but at least she's no neighborhood whore! Because, you know, all neighborhoods have whores to be compared to, and that word is always applicable to anyone of the female persuasion.

That is apparently the best we can do anymore. There is no way in Hades Mr. Guetta could sing praises to sensuality without sounding like a scallywaggish rake. Yet he makes a living off of lyrical music, a poetry of sorts. Really? You can't think of ANYTHING?! Here are two men who had no problem with expressing their arousal without becoming incongruous.

The first to come to mind for me was Bill Shakespeare. A poet, an actor, but most importantly a playwright, Bill became successful in life because he knew how to entertain. The best way to do this, since the origination of theatre in ancient Greece, is to bring in the bawdy. Modern scholars have been trying for the past century to blow the lid on the fact that William Shakespeare was a smutty writer as much as he was a respectable one. By now I would assume that most people know this, but apparently the language still goes over people's heads.

Don't believe me? Read a few sonnets, especially at the end. I'm not going to get graphic, since I really don't like thinking in this particular direction, but here's sonnet 128 for your reading pleasure:

How oft when thou, my music, music play’st

Upon that blessèd wood whose motion sounds

With thy sweet fingers, when thou gently sway’st

The wiry concord that mine ear confounds,

Do I envy' those jacks that nimble leap

To kiss the tender inward of thy hand,

Whilst my poor lips, which should that harvest reap,

At the wood’s boldness by thee blushing stand.

To be so tickled they would change their state

And situation with those dancing chips,

O'er whom thy fingers walk with gentle gait,

Making dead wood more blest than living lips.

  Since saucy jacks so happy are in this,

  Give them thy fingers, me thy lips to kiss.

Here he describes her musical talent and how he is jealous that the instruments she plays have such an intimate relationship with her fingers while he does not. This has nothing to do at first glance with anything inappropriate, but read it again and it's there. What makes Shakespeare smutty yet respectable? Double entendre, my friend. Innuendo is probably the most clever way of saying something without really saying it, and Shakespeare was a master. And he didn't have to resort to comparing the girl of his dreams to a dog in heat.

The real shocker is what you find in the Bible. Solomon was not shy in his praises of his beloved, and the language is easily more decipherable than Shakespeare's. I once had a friend tell me about a missionary companion who liked to read The Song of Solomon in private. This was too much information for me, and I didn't believe him until I finally read it myself. Chapter 6:2-3 (KJV):

My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies. I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies.

I wouldn't have gotten that as a kid, and I probably wouldn't get it today if I weren't looking for it. I'm one of the last ones to catch on to a dirty joke. Then again, maybe the way he puts it is so respectful that most people wouldn't get it. So, Mr. Guetta, if it's possible to respectfully describe sensuality and make it into the Bible, what on earth is your excuse?