On Waiting for a Mission Call

I’ve been absent from the blogging world. Not having readers is key in my diminishing motivation, and so is the fact that I have a book (no joke) to write in the next month. But here I am, not really feeling the scholarly spirit, pining away over my prospective future.

            I decided earlier this year that the time had come that I devote my life to my faith. I’ve tried before to dedicate myself to becoming a disciple of Christ, but it’s not all that easy. I’ve been too cynical to really buy into faith, but then I realized that I’ve had it all along. It’s something I can’t really help, and since I’ve given into the promptings of the Spirit, I’ve been the happiest I think I’ll ever be. It’s pretty fantastic. So in gratitude and an effort to completely roll over to doing the work of the Lord, I’ve submitted an application to serve a mission for a year and a half. So far I’ve been waiting a little over a month for a call to come in the mail, and it has yet to come. This is discouraging, but nevertheless it does not detract from the distraction that comes with the anxiety. So here’s a list of things to do while waiting for a mission call.

1)      Write a missionary- I have a friend on a mission now, and despite the fact that he doesn’t write back, I still make it a point to write him. It’s good practice for the day when I lose all freedom to communication.

2)      Celebrate a holiday- Halloween has passed since I submitted my paperwork, and I almost forgot it. While waiting for the mail I forgot to go out and compile a costume, so what I ended up doing was pretty last minute. I almost went as a missionary, but I think that would have been lost without the identifiable tag. So I wore something from a couple of years ago.

3)      Make people think you have your call- Mission calls typically come on Wednesdays, and so Thursdays are great days to tease your coworkers. You can’t really do this every Thursday though, because they do lose interest, but if you wait two weeks and then announce that THIS Wednesday is THE Wednesday, everybody gets excited and starts placing bets, and then it doesn’t feel like you’ve been waiting for eternity. And it’s really fun to pretend that you have a big secret. By the time I do get my call, I’m pretty sure some people will think I’ve had it for a couple of weeks.

4)      Peruse Google Maps- Typically this is an activity best done when you know where you’re going, but it’s also a great way to get to know every nook and cranny on this planet, so you won’t be surprised when you get called to an impoverished or remote part of the globe. As it turns out, much of the planet is remote or impoverished, so I’m already sufficiently disappointed that where I’m probably going is going to be super uncomfortable.

5)      Throw parties- There is a certain ritualistic ceremony that comes with getting a mission call that includes calling all your relatives together to be present when you open the letter foretelling your future. Now my family isn’t particularly close, but I have planned and thrown two parties with my immediate family. No call yet, and I do believe in crying at my own party, but I’ve been able to spend time with my family nonetheless.

6)      Prioritize the people in your life- Now some people I barely know have demanded to be texted as soon as I know. Normally I don’t really think to talk to anybody about my life, and I’m slightly uncomfortable with the idea of letting everyone and their dog know where I’m going, but it’s gotten confusing, and I’ve begun to reevaluate the relationships I have. I have a scrap piece of paper in my pocket that has people listed according to importance and the method by which I will announce my call to them. I have a list of people who will find out in person, over Facebook, over text, and via phone. This list includes everyone from my mother, to my professors, to that one girl I had a class with five years ago and whom I hadn’t seen since until she was my waitress at a restaurant last week.

7)      Don’t do your homework- I’m spending a year and a half somewhere else reading nothing but scripture. The chances of me having to repeat this semester of Greek is pretty high no matter how much I remember.

8)      Facebook more- No internet for a YEAR and a HALF?! I don’t Facebook too much as it is, but I’m soaking in as much as I can of absolutely nothing while I still have the freedom to do so! It also helps to like religiously related things to make it look like you haven’t given up hope, and that you’re still really super serious about your testimony.

9)      Shop, but don’t shop- I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do any clothes shopping until I got my call. I don’t want to go out and buy a whole bunch of cold weather things only to be called to Tahiti and have to buy more clothes for a warmer climate. I’m not made of money. It’s easy enough to not shop for a month, but I’ve technically been not shopping in my anticipation since July. It’s now November, and whether I like it or not I really do need to buy cold weather clothing. It’s also like my wardrobe has decided to rebel against me, because I’ve had to replace most of those absolutely necessary yet really expensive items like sturdy undergarments (which will go away anyway as soon as I get endowed!) and jeans and tennis shoes (which I won’t be wearing once I’m on the mission). In about a week all my jeans got massive holes in them, and my tennis shoes wore out in the sole. And yet you really want to start shopping for things you probably will need, but don’t want to get now because you don’t want to look too eager.

10)  Plan your post-missionary life- I’m dropping a whole lot of life to do this, and it’s not going to be easy to pick up where I’ve left off, but I’m older and I don’t have much of my twenties left to make up for the time I’ll be gone. So far it looks like I may be applying to BYU at some point, taking my GRE, and figuring out how the dating world works. I’ve also been planning on how to rearrange the décor in my room, since everything will be in storage while I’m gone.

11)  Google different questions and phrases related to ‘mission call’- I feel really proactive wasting time looking at forums in which people talk about their horrible experiences or great experiences or whatever. Sometimes I feel discouraged, sometimes I feel strengthened.

12)  Practice reaction faces and write down reaction one liners for the big day- I’m the type of person who has to script the humor into her life, otherwise nothing funny ever happens, and I actually really like everything to be as hilarious and preposterous as possible. I remember when I got baptized when I was eight. When my dad brought me up out of the water I beamed at the gaggle of supporters watching and exclaimed, “I feel like an astronaut!” I promise my one liners have gotten better.

13)  Stalk the MTC website- They have a virtual tour, which is fun. Sort of. I feel creepy staring at the people in the pictures. That’s why I hate looking at pictures on Facebook.  I’m stalking them, and they don’t know, nor can they do anything about it. I’m a predator!

14)  Cuddle with your dog- You’re going to miss your furry friends most! They can’t talk on the telephone when you call in May and December, and they can’t write to you!

15)  Throw away inappropriate media- I was never the kid who got offended by the music I listened to, but now that everything I listen to will be at the mercy of the scrutiny of my companions (who will undoubtedly be better people than myself), I’m going to have to be super selective of the music and books that I sneak into my bags.

16)  Go do things with your friends that you’ve never done- I’m going paintballing tonight. I’ve never been paintballing. I probably will never get this opportunity again. No, I’m not dying, but in a way I feel like I am. I could paintball when I get home, but everything will be different.

17)  Stand by the mailbox and wait- Worst way to spend your time. Especially if it’s not Wednesday.

18)  Acquaint yourself with mythology- I’m trying above all to think of this as a quest. I love mythology, I love epic quests, and missions definitely seem to fit the bill. They aren’t easy, they aren’t fun, they aren’t vacations, but they’re worthwhile and bring you closer to cosmic understanding. I plan above all to ride off into the sunset like Don Quixote. It’s easier to anticipate such a difficult experience in such a way.

19)  Text your bishop ten times a day- He’s the only way to find out where your papers are and what’s being done with them, and it’s not like he’s not waiting by the mailbox too. Or at least he should be reminded that nothing is more important right now than you getting your call. Okay, so I don’t text him ten times a day, but I feel like the biggest nuisance on the planet.

20)  Blog about things to do while waiting- Because that massive paper for history is going to have to learn to write itself, that book for your discussion next week will have to read itself, and Greek is a dead language that nobody really cares about. The only thing on your mind right now is that dang mission call!